Chapter 48: Family Affair

Summary

      This chapter is also amazing! Oh Dumas, how you toy with my emotions! The idea to stop Milady from ruining them all was a collaborative effort: Athos came up with the basic plan, Porthos came up with the means to get money (the diamond), Aramis decided on using servants to transport the letter, and d’Artagnan – well, d’Artagnan hasn’t really done anything; he is too scared of Milady. Sorry old chap, but you brought it upon yourself with your cruel trick. Other than that, d’Artagnan is pretty happy with his new rank of Musketeer. Aramis, rich from his poems, buys d’Artagnan a uniform, and he is parading it around the camp in delight. The Fearsome Four then meet to figure out which servant to send, and work on how to word the letters, which will be addressed to Lord de Winter and a contact of Aramis’s in Tours. Each Musketeer (because now all of them are Musketeers!) recommends his own servant, and none can agree. Aramis laments that none of the servants would risk their lives for their masters. D’Artagnan disagrees (and so do I – those servants are definitely dedicated). They argue some more about which servant has the best qualities. 

     Since they can’t decide on who is the best for the job, they move on to writing the letter to Lord de Winter. D’Artagnan picks up the pen and begins to compose the note. However, Athos is very annoying and critical, disapproving of everything being written, including the greeting. All his doubts are completely valid – the letter may be intercepted by cardinalists and must appear like it’s about nothing suspicious, just a ‘family affair.’ But d’Artagnan takes it badly. He doesn’t even write two sentences when he sulkily tells Athos to try doing a better job. God, I love how all of them act like they’re five year olds. Athos demurs, and says that ‘Aramis the abbe’ will do better. So they’re still not done teasing him about that, I see. D’Artagnan warns Aramis that he will let him write it, but Aramis better make it concise, or d’Artagnan will make him concise. Then Athos tells Aramis to talk more quietly and they all bicker a bit, like the elementary school students they are.

     After this squabbling is out of the way, Athos decides to tell everyone about his story – and now all the Fearsome Four know about Athos’s marriage to Milady and him trying to hang her. All are shocked, but after seeing her violence and general evilness recently, they are much less horrified than d’Artagnan (and I) was when he first heard it. Aramis pens the letter, and it is beautifully innocuous while still getting the message across. The letter warns Lord de Winter that ‘she’ is after his life, and is about to do a dastardly act. It also tells him to look at her left shoulder to see what she is capable of. Wow, Aramis is good – the letter never mentions any names – not even d’Artagnan’s or Milady’s, and yet it is perfectly clear. 

     Aramis then writes a letter to a special someone in Tours. The rest all give each other knowing looks. Everyone knows that he is writing to the Duchesse de Chevreuse. Aramis then pens this letter as beautifully as the first, pretending to be a cardinalist that is happy about the duke being in danger. He knows that the lady who receives this will interpret it as the warning and plea for help that it is. He then must write the address. All crane their necks to see the name; sure that it is the duchesse. To everyone’s surprise, it actually is his cousin that will help them! D’Artagnan, Athos, and Porthos burst into laughter, caught, and even Aramis laughs. Aramis then says that only Bazin can take the letter to Tours, because he is the only servant that his cousin will recognize.

     D’Artagnan finally convinces the others that Planchet will do the best in London, because he has been there before,  is brave and loyal, and can say “London, sir, if you please, and my master, Lord d'Artagnan” in English. Awe, bless his heart. They all agree that Planchet will perform the London mission. They then summon Planchet, and give him instructions and money for the journey. He assures d’Artagnan that if he is captured; he will eat the letter. D’Artagnan laughs, saying that then he will have failed his mission. However, Planchet promptly replies that he will have memorized the letter by then, so he won’t have failed. D’Artagnan gives his friends a ‘told you so!’ look. He then instructs Planchet to be back in sixteen days; eight there, and eight back. Planchet agrees, but requests a watch to help him do so. Athos gives him his watch, but then languidly threatens to rip his stomach out if he betrays d’Artagnan. Planchet is horrified. The other Musketeers give him similar threats, but wish him well. D’Artagnan even hugs him. He sets off at a gallop, slightly depressed by the threats, but otherwise in good spirits. Likewise, Bazin is informed and he too sets off with his message.

     In eight days, Bazin returns safely! He finds the Fearsome Four chilling in the tavern with their other friends and the Swiss man. Smiling as usual (except for when he was sad during the religious-crisis/spinach episode), Bazin hands Aramis the reply. It is also cryptic, but she promises to help as asked. The Swiss man nosily reads the message. He then asks his ‘gomrade’ Aramis what the ‘duvil’ is going on. Aramis lies his way out of the sticky situation by claiming that he wrote to his cousin about a dream he had. The Swiss person has no real value in the scene except to say that he ‘neffer’ dreams, ‘neffer, neffer!’ Good lord. Then, Bazin lies down for a much-needed nap. He dreams that Aramis has become the pope and crowns Bazin the cardinal. So unlike the Swiss man, Bazin does dream! We’ll keep that in mind, Dumas. 

     For the eight remaining days until Planchet’s return, the Fearsome Four wander around like ghosts, and all feel restless. On the sixteenth day, they all wait for Planchet at that same tavern they met the Swiss man in. As the time nears eight o’clock in the evening (the appointed time), they all get more and more nervous. At exactly eight, Planchet announces his arrival by kindly offering d’Artagnan a cloak. Everyone is delighted to see him and each Musketeer except Athos exclaims his name in turn. Athos says that he is not surprised that Planchet arrived on time, because Planchet is a man of his word and a good boy. He even says that if Planchet ever wants to leave d’Artagnan, Athos will gladly take him. Wow, that is nicest Athos has ever been to Planchet. Planchet, however, says that he is never leaving d’Artagnan (don’t blame him – if he served Athos, he would turn into Grimaud, and who wants to be forced into silence?). D’Artagnan takes the note eagerly, and again feels like embracing Planchet. He decides not to, because it would look weird. Good lord, he really is a big baby! The letter says “Thank you; be easy.” Everyone is surprised that the letter is so short, but Planchet says that he will explain later. D’Artagnan allows him to go to bed.

Reaction

     Lots of adventure time in this chapter! I love how relatable the humor is; it reminds me of the earlier chapters. I also am so proud of Planchet. He got a whole mission to himself, and was so heroic!  And also I approve of the Musketeers all being nice to their servants for once. I feel as if at this point in the novel, each servant has made a little debut and we’ve gotten a good look at all their personalities. My favorite is still Planchet, but I’ve grown quite fond of the others, Grimaud and Mousqueton especially (sorry Bazin!). Either way, now I love them all and wish Dumas had written a spin-off novel of them going on epic adventures together and eating lots of food.

     Unsurprisingly, my favorite part had to do with Planchet. It was the threats each Musketeer made to him before he left on his mission. I couldn’t help quoting the novel in this huge chunk, it was just too priceless:

“‘But remember, also, that if by your fault any evil happens to d'Artagnan, I will find you, wherever you may be, for the purpose of ripping up your belly’ [said Athos].

‘Oh, monsieur!’ said Planchet, humiliated by the suspicion, and moreover, terrified at the calm air of the Musketeer.

‘And I,’ said Porthos, rolling his large eyes, ‘remember, I will skin you alive.’

‘Ah, monsieur!’

‘And I,’ said Aramis, with his soft, melodious voice, ‘remember that I will roast you at a slow fire, like a savage.’

‘Ah, monsieur!’

Planchet began to weep. We will not venture to say whether it was from terror created by the threats or from tenderness at seeing four friends so closely united.

D'Artagnan took his hand. ‘See, Planchet,’ said he, ‘these gentlemen only say this out of affection for me, but at bottom they all like you.’

‘Ah, monsieur,’ said Planchet, ‘I will succeed or I will consent to be cut in quarters; and if they do cut me in quarters, be assured that not a morsel of me will speak.’”

Oh my gosh, Aramis! So funny. Also, I just want to give Planchet a hug. When Dumas writes well, he writes well.