Chapter 26: Aramis and his Thesis

Summary

     Dumas really has outdone himself with these chapters about finding the Musketeers. This excellent chapter starts off as d’Artagnan and Planchet reach the hotel in which they left Aramis and Bazin. They ask the plump and friendly hostess what became of Aramis, and she replies that he is still in the hotel. I’m starting to see a pattern here! She warns them that Aramis has turned to religion and is focused on theology. D’Artagnan is taken aback at his friend abandoning his post as a Musketeer, but insists on going to see him anyways. Aramis is with a Jesuit and a curator, and all three are solemnly at a table, working on a bunch of important-looking scrolls. Aramis is wearing black robes and a hat of sadness. Bazin is very hopeful that Aramis will not change his mind about becoming an abbe, so he is visibly dismayed when d’Artagnan shows up. However, Aramis hardly acknowledges d’Artagnan. Aramis is writing his thesis, so he may get his ordinance. 

     The Jesuit is very devout and keeps speaking Latin, and Aramis follows his lead. D’Artagnan was terrible at Latin as a schoolboy and has forgotten the little he learned, so he is rather irritated by all the Latin being spoken. The curator doesn’t know much Latin either, so he just keeps repeating the last few words of whatever the Jesuit says, each time in an emphatic tone and shaking his head sadly. Aramis’s thesis is about how many hands or fingers different members of the church bless people with. The Jesuit thinks the thesis is not aggressive enough and the two argue in Latin while d’Artagnan gets more impatient and lost, and the curator repeats words louder than ever.

     Scandal reappears when the Jesuit misinterprets something Aramis says and takes it to mean that Aramis regrets the devil (I have no clue what that means, but at least they do!). The Jesuit wails about how Aramis shall be lost, and the curator groans appallingly in distress. D’Artagnan feels wildly out of his depth, so when Aramis asks his opinion, he yells out his agreement with Aramis, making everyone in the room jump. The Jesuit and curator get right back to berating Aramis, but he assures them he is devout, and they leave him to write his thesis. D’Artagnan and Aramis sit in awkward silence awhile. Then, d’Artagnan exclaims that he is hungry. Sadly, the only food Aramis can eat that day is spinach and fruit. He agrees to add an egg to the meal for d’Artagnan’s sake. D’Artagnan is mightily saddened by this pathetic fare, but he accepts it kindly, and Bazin goes off to make it. Meanwhile, Aramis tells d’Artagnan how he became a Musketeer. Basically, many years ago, a man called Aramis a coward. Aramis was deeply hurt by this insult, so he trained for a year to get his revenge. He then found his insulter at a party, took him outside, and killed him. Good grief. And he seems so gentle!

     D’Artagnan thinks that Aramis has turned to religion because he is heartbroken over the Duchesse of Chevreuse leaving him without a word, so he turns the topic to love. Annoyingly, Aramis keeps crying “fie!” at the mention of love and will not shut up. D’Artagnan proceeds to reveal that he has a letter that the duchesse left at Aramis’s house. Before he gives it to Aramis, however, he teases him a bit, deservedly, about his exclamations of “fie!” and cynicism. Aramis is a changed man when he reads that the duchesse merely could not write to him because she was detained. Aramis and d’Artagnan dance around the room together, kicking high and wildly. They kick around the scrolls of Aramis’s thesis, but he doesn’t care in the least anymore. The unfortunate Bazin walks in at this moment. Okay, I love this mental image – just priceless. Aramis is so glad that he tells Bazin to take away the vegetables and bring back good, unhealthy food. He also throws his hat at poor Bazin. D’Artagnan is so gleeful that he tries speaking a bit of Latin but Aramis tells him to stop. Ha! Then, the two drink wine and d’Artagnan begins to tell Aramis about the fate of the rest of their friends.

Reaction

     Aramis is a bit of a dolt still (so his religious nature is totally false?) but the Latin, the curator echoing the Jesuit, Bazin’s reactions, the awful food, the shouting, and exclamations of “fie!” made for a wildly funny chapter. Also, this chapter gives the impression that Dumas didn't have a high opinion of the religious community in his time. 

     My favorite line was about Bazin: “‘Be off, you wretch!’ cried Aramis, throwing his skullcap in [Bazin’s] face. ‘Return whence you came; take back those horrible vegetables, and that poor kickshaw! Order a larded hare, a fat capon, mutton leg dressed with garlic, and four bottles of old Burgundy.’ Bazin, who looked at his master, without comprehending the cause of this change, in a melancholy manner, allowed the omelet to slip into the spinach, and the spinach onto the floor.” Poor spinach.