Chapter 37: Milady’s Secret

Summary

     Alternatively, this could be called ‘The Chapter in Which D’Artagnan is Unbelievably Idiotic, and Milady Becomes a Bit More Mysterious.’ But seriously, if you thought that d’Artagnan was acting imprudently in the last chapter, as I did, this one will blow your mind away with his idiocy. Dumas starts off the chapter by telling us that d’Artagnan is madly in love with Milady, and she does not love him at all in return. Yes Dumas, we know that, but thanks for the confirmation. D’Artagnan also decides to follow through with all his plans because he wants ‘revenge’ on Milady. At 11:00, d’Artagnan reaches Milady’s chamber again, and enters. Kitty, furious and heart-broken, considers betraying d’Artagnan, but decides not to out of compassion and fear. After two hours of enjoying each others’ company, Milady begins questioning him about how he plans to kill the Comte de Wardes. D’Artagnan dithers awhile, and then asks her if she truly loves him. Of course, she lies and affirms her love. So, d’Artagnan admits that he needs to confess something to her. NO. HE CANNOT BE THIS DUMB. I WILL NOT ALLOW IT. But alas for me, he is that daft, and he actually tells her. Yep, he tells Milady that he pretended to be the Comte de Wardes. This delusional man expected a few tears and reproaches, but then forgiveness. Ha! Yeah, right. More like a few fatal wounds, and then murder. Indeed, Milady totally loses it. As she freaks out, d’Artagnan notices a …wait for it…fleur-de-lis on her bare shoulder! What? She realizes that he has seen it, and screams that she must kill him now that he knows.

     She rushes up, and grabs a small dagger from her bedside table. She attempts to stab d’Artagnan, who also rises and grabs his sword. Oh lord. Also, when they stand up, the narration reveals that they were in bed together all this time. That’s kind of odd; Dumas beat around the bush with euphemisms such as them ‘abandoning themselves to love.’ Seeing as he used the same sort of language before with Kitty, I suppose d’Artagnan must have had sexual relations with her also. That makes him even more contemptible than he seemed before, since he was only pretending to love Kitty. Anyway, Milady and d’Artagnan circle each other. D’Artagnan is terrified of Milady’s inhuman fury, and escapes into Kitty’s adjoining room, and the two lock the door. In her rage, Milady stabs through the door repeatedly, howling and screaming. D’Artagnan asks Kitty to help him escape, and is about to rush out of the chamber when Kitty reminds him that he is naked. He is?? So the duel was a naked duel? That’s hilarious. D’Artagnan impatiently orders Kitty to help him get dressed. So Kitty gives him the largest clothes she owns – a flowery robe, a cloak, and a pair of slippers. D’Artagnan dresses in that dashing outfit, and speedily runs away from the Place Royale. Oh man, I hope Milady doesn’t hurt Kitty!

Reaction

     Well then! D’Artagnan really blew it this time. I absolutely cannot believe that he put himself and Kitty in such danger because he got fooled into thinking Milady loves him. What happened to his promise to Athos? What happened to his resolutions to stay on his guard? What happened to his common sense? One good thing did come out of it though – d’Artagnan’s terror-filled dash from the Place Royal dressed in Kitty’s clothes must have been a grand sight to see. I’m not sure what to think of Milady now. All the signs point to her being Athos’s ‘murdered’ wife. This, if it is true, obviously means that she was not murdered, and either escaped or survived the hanging. Or, Athos could be lying about being a murderer. Again, I doubt it, but it’s a happy possibility. Hmmm. Intrigue! Milady’s rage was incredibly unnerving, and I don’t blame d’Artagnan at all for fleeing. I do blame him, however, for his completely delusional love for her, and complete lack of control – why can’t he keep his mouth shut? Also, in what direction is sleeping with Milady getting revenge, especially since he actually loved/was infatuated with her? He needs to admit that he acted stupidly and then stop acting that way. He better not go back to Milady.  

     My favorite line is from Milady again: “‘Ah, wretch!’ cried she, ‘you have basely betrayed me, and still more, you have my secret! You shall die.’” How great of a villain is she?