Chapter 33: Soubrette and Mistress

Summary

      Don’t worry, the title does make sense. ‘Soubrette’ is the French word that Dumas often uses in place of ‘maid.’ The chapter begins with a confirmation that indeed d’Artagnan is falling in love with Milady, and is sure that she will eventually reciprocate his affections. Is he mad? She is unstable and crazy; there is no way she is better than Madame Bonacieux. I never liked d’Artagnan and Madame Bonacieux together because she deserves better, but this is just too much. Kitty, Milady’s maid, decides to be a bit bolder and take him to her room so they can talk in private. He admits that he is deeply in love with Milady; she promptly tells him that Milady does not love him back. D’Artagnan is rather offended.  He does not believe her until she shows him a note from Milady to the Comte de Wardes, telling him that he should take his chance to be with her before she changes her mind. Not very romantic, but obviously there are some feelings there or her pride would not let her keep trying with the Comte de Wardes. D’Artagnan is heart-broken, and asks Kitty to help him win Milady’s heart. Kitty refuses, for two reasons. First, she knows that Milady will never love him. Here, d’Artagnan thinks about it and realizes that she has a crush on him, so he kisses her. Wow. Kitty, now a bit braver, though she keeps in mind that d’Artagnan loves Milady, admits that the second reason is that she, Kitty, is in love with him. Bold confession! You go, Kitty! D’Artagnan decides to spend the evening with her, and they banter, he tells her that she’s very pretty, and they act lovey-dovey. This would be kind of nice, except I’m absolutely certain that d’Artagnan is using her.  Indeed, he refuses to leave once Milady arrives, and instead hides in the cupboard to listen.

     Milady then shows her true colors. She implies that she knows about d’Artagnan’s real loyalties and his role in the diamond studs affair, and would dispose of him if the cardinal did not forbid her. Oh lord, that’s terrifying. In the cupboard, d’Artagnan is in shock. Milady also implies that she knows where Madame Bonacieux is. She also confirms my theory! Oh, I feel so validated. Milady actually says out loud that she hates d’Artagnan because he failed to kill Lord de Winter and therefore failed to give her the inheritance she wants. D’Artagnan now has mixed feeling about Milady – he thinks she is a monster, but is still immensely attracted to her. The next day, Kitty again betrays Milady because of her love for d’Artagnan, handing him another letter from Milady to the Comte de Wardes. The note says that Milady has written three times telling him she loves him, and if he fails to reply, she will despise him. D’Artagnan turns pale, and Kitty feels hurt when she realizes that d’Artagnan still loves Milady. D’Artagnan denies this, claiming that he loves Kitty. Riiight. This time, d’Artagnan forges a loving reply from de Wardes. Dubious morality again! Kitty cries again that Milady will find out about the trickery and punish her. She also repeats that d’Artagnan does not love her. D’Artagnan reassures her with false promises, but Dumas’s narration makes it clear that d’Artagnan is lying and using her.

Reaction

     I am disgusted with d’Artagnan in this chapter. Out of the awesome and hardcore Madame Bonacieux, the sweet and loving Kitty, and the cruel and heartless Milady, who does he chose to persist in ‘loving?’ I don’t think he truly loves any of the three, but he obviously is passionate about Milady.

     My favorite line is d’Artagnan’s pick-up line to Kitty. It’s so bad it’s funny: “‘Kitty,’ said he, ‘I will read to the bottom of your soul whenever you like; don't let that disturb you.’” Good heavens d’Artagnan, what does that even mean?