Chapter 23: The Rendezvous

Summary

     After the ball, d’Artagnan is free to leave at three o’clock in the morning. He runs home in great excitement, and reaches his apartment complex safely and quickly. In a cheesy manner, Dumas attributes this to the power of love. When he reaches his floor, he performs a secret knock on his apartment door. It opens, and Planchet greets him. Planchet is back! Dumas acknowledges that the reader may be confused as to how he got back to Paris. Yes, indeed I am. Conveniently, Dumas does not know himself, and can only speculate that the Duke of Buckingham sent Planchet home along with the horses. That’s a hilariously lame reason, and it still doesn’t explain why d’Artagnan just left him in the middle of London. D’Artagnan now proceeds to clear up this mystery by making it very clear that he consistently doesn’t treat Planchet with much respect. He asks the aforementioned servant if anyone sent him a note. Planchet replies that no one sent a note, but a note came. Irritated by this enigmatic reply, d’Artagnan calls him a blockhead. Planchet takes this in good humor, and explains that when he arrived, the apartment was secured – door locked, all windows closed safely. Yet, there was a letter on the front table. Planchet is nervous about this, and comments that it is not natural for letters to enter like that.

     D’Artagnan reads the letter, and is delighted to see that it is from Madame Bonacieux, telling him to meet her by St. Cloud at ten o’clock that evening. He turns red and pale alternately – this appears to be Dumas’s highly unrealistic description of choice to show that someone has feelings of some kind. D’Artagnan, predictably, interprets this as a love letter, whereas she merely says she wants to thank him. However, d’Artagnan is actually more likely to be correct, since the way Dumas is writing this, it would be the next step to have them declare their love for each other.  Planchet observes d’Artagnan’s overreaction to the letter, and surmises that it must contain bad news. Ha! Planchet is so quality. D’Artagnan calls him an idiot, and tells him that the letter contains excellent news. Planchet is still suspicious, but doesn’t protest further. D’Artagnan instructs him to spend the day however he sees fit, but to be ready with two horses at seven o’clock in the evening, and to be armed. This makes Planchet even more nervous, but he agrees. Then, he asks permission to go back to bed, and d’Artagnan grants it.

     On the way out, d’Artagnan runs into M. Bonacieux, and the latter is so friendly that d’Artagnan feels obliged to stay and chat. M. Bonacieux tells d’Artagnan false stories about his ‘torturous’ imprisonment, unaware that d’Artagnan had heard him traitorously talking to Rochefort before the journey to London. M. Bonacieux keeps hinting that he knows where d’Artagnan has gone and what he has done. Strangely, M. Bonacieux even hints that d’Artagnan has a mistress. When d’Artagnan tells him that he is going to be out that night, and that he is happy with his mistress, M Bonacieux goes very pale. D’Artagnan does not notice, and leaves to go to M. de Treville’s. D’Artagnan catches M. de Treville up on what had been going on, and tells him about his gift from the queen. M. de Treville then warns d’Artagnan that he is being too complacent, and that the cardinal will not rest unless he has revenge on d’Artagnan. He tells d’Artagnan that it would be best to leave for Picardy and figure out what happened to the three Musketeers. D’Artagnan agrees and says he will set off the next day. M. de Treville suddenly begins acting super rude towards women, warning d’Artagnan that they are the cause of evil and will always be. D’Artagnan listens patiently to this blather, and then they part amiably.

     D’Artagnan visits Planchet, who is grooming the freshly arrived horses (given by the duke). He tells d’Artagnan that he noticed M. Bonacieux slipping off very purposefully after d’Artagnan left, and warns d’Artagnan to watch out for him. D’Artagnan, freshly cautioned by M. de Treville, seems to absorb what Planchet says. But then he emphatically tells Planchet that indeed, he will not pay rent until M. Bonacieux explains himself. Planchet probably mentally rolls his eyes at d’Artagnan’s inability to take his own security seriously. D’Artagnan tells Planchet to be ready at nine o’clock in the evening, and leaves again to go eat with the man who gave him a chocolate breakfast all those chapters ago when the Fearsome Four were short on money. I approve of his priorities – chocolate is very important in life.

Reaction

     This chapter was great, because it had so much Planchet in it. Planchet is the best, and the only character that has not annoyed me once in this entire novel. I also agree with M. de Treville and Planchet that d’Artagnan ought to be more careful. All that foreshadowing points to trouble ahead!

     This chapter was such a delicious goldmine of humor that it was hard picking a favorite line, but here it is:

D’Artagnan – “Don't be afraid, you idiot; there is nothing in [the letter] but a party of pleasure.”

Planchet – “Ah, like the charming journey the other day, when it rained bullets and produced a crop of steel traps!”

Planchet really is the best character in the novel so far.