Chapter 5: The King’s Musketeers and the Cardinal’s Guards

Summary

     It gets pretty intense in this chapter, so buckle your seatbelt. D’Artagnan’s resignation to his death doesn’t last long, so by the time he is walking to his first duel, he is planning how he might survive this experience. D’Artagnan figures that he can make friends with Athos, blackmail Porthos with the baldric story, and defeat Aramis by spoiling his delicate good looks.  Thinking thus, d’Artagnan practically flies to his duel with Athos, and arrives at precisely 12:00, as promised. 

     Athos says that they must wait for his seconds, who have not arrived yet. D’Artagnan, rather cleverly, tells Athos that he has no friends in Paris, and thus has no seconds. You can almost hear Athos’s sympathy increasing. Athos muses that if he kills d’Artagnan, he will seem like a “boy-slayer.” D’Artagnan, with a low bow, graciously replies that in fact it is Athos who is braver, since he is fighting with a painful wound. Athos agrees (ha!) and further tells d’Artagnan how much his shoulder hurts, and how much his crash with d’Artagnan worsened the wound. D’Artagnan shyly offers to give Athos his mom’s special balsam for wounds, and to reschedule the duel for when Athos’s shoulder heals, but Athos will hear none of it. He does call d’Artagnan a gentleman, though. D’Artagnan replies (possibly going a bit over the top) by saying that if Athos is in a hurry, he may kill d’Artagnan right now and get it over with. Athos refuses, but very respectfully and kindly.  Just hug it out, you two, it’s obvious there is no animosity anymore!

     The situation becomes a bit stranger when Porthos and Aramis arrive as Athos’s seconds. All four gasp and stare at each other, and it is revealed to all that the “Three Inseparables,” as Athos calls them, are going to fight the same man. Amusingly, only Athos can admit why they decided to have a duel. Porthos blushes and refuses to tell, so d’Artagnan saves him by telling Athos they had an argument about clothes – though the lad smiles slyly when he says so. D’Artagnan also plays along when Aramis lies that they had a disagreement about theology – though he smiles even more slyly at this. Athos notices d’Artagnan’s wily expression, and realizes that he is quite clever. D’Artagnan endears himself even more to Athos and Aramis (Porthos still is a bit upset; the man sure takes his clothes seriously) by offering to not remove his coat since Athos’s wound is bleeding and he cannot remove his. The two are just about to fight…when Deus Ex Machina Jussac and his friends, some of the cardinal's guards, arrive! Fate must want the Three Musketeers and d’Artagnan to be friends.

     The cardinal’s guards refuse to allow the duel. So, naturally, the Musketeers decide to fight the five guards to the death. Oh, and d’Artagnan joins in to fight with them, disregarding M. de Treville’s lies about how awesome the cardinal is, and proving his loyalty to the Musketeers. D’Artagnan evidently has sword skills we don’t know about, because he stabs Jussac all the way through his body and takes down one other guard. Then, he assists Athos, who is struggling due to his wound. Athos gives his opponent the finishing blow though, since he has a long-standing grudge with that guard. Wow, this is all very bloody and violent. Aramis is the only one who does not kill his guard – kudos, Aramis – but instead forces him to beg for mercy. Porthos struggles mightily with his opponent. Oddly and hilariously, Porthos attempts to use witty banter and polite compliments on his opponent, and he is surprised when all these methods fail. Now it is all four Musketeers-plus-d’Artagnan against Porthos’s opponent, a Gascon named Bicarat. The unfortunate man is crazily brave, and refuses to surrender. Only when Jussac raises himself on an elbow and commands him to stop fighting (I thought Jussac was dead?!?) does Bicarat do so, whistling annoyingly. The Musketeers-plus-d’Artagnan, who shall hereafter be known as the Fearsome Four, salute Bicarat’s bravery and then put the bodies and slightly alive people to the side so they can be buried and tended to. 

     Then, the Fearsome Four march down the street in triumph, linking arms like a bunch of schoolgirls. D’Artagnan is thrilled, and hugs Athos and Porthos closely, all signs of dueling forgotten. As the Fearsome Four pass through the gates of M. de Treville’s office, d’Artagnan asks his new buddies if he is a Musketeer now, or at least an apprentice. The chapter ends without a reply. Intrigue!

Reaction

     I…don’t know what to think of this 17^th century French chivalry and its rules. So you kill people for ridiculously insignificant reasons, and call that honor? And then respect the very people you are trying to kill or have killed? I’m sure Bicarat could have been a useful companion to the Fearsome Four, but instead he is a respected enemy. And poor Jussac. He was merely enforcing the law, and now he is ambiguously dead! Well, if one accepts these rules and this attitude, the chapter is exciting and fast-paced, and overall very enjoyable. I’m glad the Fearsome Four are friends, and I hope they find some real villains to battle, because then I can cheer them on wholeheartedly as they fight. This chapter also informs us that Porthos is physically the largest and most muscular Musketeer, so I had to modify my mental image of him to a fashion-conscious giant.

     Dumas has been developing d’Artagnan’s character slowly but steadily, and has revealed a new, wily side to him in this chapter. Dumas also clearly wants us to be on d’Artagnan’s side. His narration is full of praise and admiration for d’Artagnan, who is meant to be the hero of this novel. It’s pretty amazing how his narration went from slightly mocking toward d’Artagnan to establishing him as the hero, even more so than the three Musketeers.

     My favorite line was actually two lines about Bicarat: “Porthos made a thousand flourishes, asking Bicarat what o'clock it could be, and offering him his compliments upon his brother's having just obtained a company in the regiment of Navarre; but, jest as he might, he gained nothing. Bicarat was one of those iron men who never fell dead.” Poor Porthos, it wasn’t your fault. Bicarat just never dies.