Chapter 28: The Return

Summary

     The next morning, a hung-over Athos tries to figure out if he told d’Artagnan the story about his wife. D’Artagnan initially pretends he has no idea what Athos is talking about, but then feels bad for lying and admits that he heard the story – but goes along with Athos’s assertion of the previous night; that the man in the story was Athos’s friend, not Athos. I’m pretty sure Athos knows that d’Artagnan has realized the truth, because he looks sad and changes the subject to his horse. D’Artagnan has much good to say about the duke’s horses. However, he gets a bit worried, since Athos seems regretful when d’Artagnan praises the horses. Athos explains calmly that he parted with the horse that morning. D’Artagnan exclaims loudly in dismay. Athos then proceeds to launch into a rather amusing tale of early-morning gambling. That morning, Athos woke up at 6 o’clock, and was bored since d’Artagnan was still sleeping. So, he wandered down to the tavern of the inn, and there saw one of the Englishmen from the previous day, looking to buy a horse. Athos dislikes English horses, so he offered to play dice with the Englishman for the horse. The Englishman had seen the horse in the stables, and was very intrigued by this offer, so he accepted. Athos lost the horse. D’Artagnan is getting quite vexed by now. Athos continues, just as tranquilly, to say that he then wagered d’Artagnan’s horse, and lost it too! D’Artagnan is rather frantic by now, and calls Athos a madman. Athos agrees that when drunk, he is, but he is not mad now.

     D’Artagnan remarks, optimistically, that there was nothing else for Athos to bet, was there? Athos, worryingly, disagrees. He bet the ring that the queen gave d’Artagnan! D’Artagnan is appalled and angry, and bellows “ventrebleu!” Of course, Athos lost the diamond! D’Artagnan is going into nervous spasms by now. However, Athos then staked Grimaud (d’Artagnan laughs despite himself at this point) and won back the diamond. To get back Grimaud, Athos staked the fancy harnesses of both horses, but then won them back. So now, they have harnesses but no horses. This irritates d’Artagnan so much that he agrees to go down to the tavern with Athos and try to win them back. They get down there, and find the Englishman with little trouble, and he agrees to play with them. D’Artagnan gets an amazingly lucky throw of the dice, and gains a lot of money. He decides to keep the money instead of buying back the horses, and Athos and d’Artagnan set off, richer, on their servants’ horses. The poor servants follow on foot. On the way back, they happen upon a dejected Aramis! Aramis explains that a crooked horse-dealer tricked him and took his horse in exchange for a bad quality one. Athos and d’Artagnan cannot really be upset, considering what they have just done, so they continue onwards to fetch Porthos. On the way, Aramis updates his friends on his religious situation. Aramis says that he got rid of the Jesuit and curate by getting them drunk and telling them his back-story (remember? When that guy insulted him and Aramis killed him?). He still is religious, but chooses to express it through poetry. Well, I’m glad he’s found inner peace!

     At the inn Porthos occupies, the friends sit down to a lavish feast, courtesy of Porthos’s horse.  Yep, Porthos sold his horse to pay his bill to the innkeeper and get extra money! The friends have a good laugh about how all of them have lost their horses. They soon arrive back in Paris, happy to be safe and reunited. Even better, d’Artagnan is now promoted to be a Musketeer! He runs to this friends in joy to celebrate, but finds them despondent. They are short of money again! The king has ordered all the Musketeers to ready their outfits for battle against England (don’t forget, the duke put an embargo on France!). Of course, the outfits are very expensive, and they must be ready in a fortnight. The Fearsome Four sit awhile, brainstorming ways to get money. Porthos claims to have an idea. Also, Athos secretly thinks that d’Artagnan should sell his ring and distribute the money.

Reaction

     I really want to despise Athos – I really do. But he’s been amazing comic relief for this chapter and the previous one, he always seemed very noble, and he was the only one without a mistress. So it’s hard to reconcile my previous image of Athos with reality. However, it is revealed for certain – he is a murderer. I want to hope that he had a valid reason for hanging his wife, but it doesn’t seem likely. In that case, Athos has a serious problem and ought to go to counseling, stat! Also, I’m glad d’Artagnan is finally a Musketeer! He’s always amazing in battle, and has assumed a leading position in the Fearsome Four. Congratulations, d’Artagnan, you deserve your Musketeerhood!

     My favorite part is d’Artagnan’s reactions as Athos tells his gambling story:

"After having lost my own horse, nine against ten--see how near--I formed an idea of staking yours."

"Yes; but you stopped at the idea, I hope?"

"No; for I put it in execution that very minute."

"And the consequence?" said d'Artagnan, in great anxiety.

"I threw, and I lost."

"What, my horse?"

"Your horse, seven against eight; a point short--you know the proverb."

"Athos, you are not in your right senses, I swear."

No duh, d’Artagnan! He's crazy!