Blogger's Note: Hiatus for about a week

Hi everyone! First of all, thanks to all my viewers.
Also, special shout out to glutenfreecupcakes, who is great moral support and is excellent at lit analysis. So thank you! <3 I am going on vacation for about a week. Regular posts will resume when I get back. ~Geneyreic

Chapter 25: Porthos

Summary

     This is a very long chapter, but one of those chapters that makes me wonder why everyone isn’t reading this novel. It starts off with d’Artagnan pouring out his troubles to M. de Treville, and asking him what he should do about Madame Bonacieux. M. de Treville advises him to go on with his journey, and not worry about her – he promises to look into the matter and rescue her. Yet again, M. de Treville is a great father figure; he calms d’Artagnan down, tries to fix his problems, and makes sure he does not lose focus. D’Artagnan heads to his apartment, but is again stopped by an overly friendly M. Bonacieux (now that he’s gotten so annoying, every time his name is mentioned I think of Athos’s wonderful “Bah!” when he called M. Bonacieux tiresome in jail). During the course of their passive-aggressive conversation, they both point out the mud on each other’s shoes, and d’Artagnan ‘reproaches’ him for being out at night when he has a pretty wife at home. Suddenly, d’Artagnan realizes what I figured out a chapter ago – M. Bonacieux was one of his wife’s kidnappers! He leaves M. Bonacieux in a hilariously weird way. D’Artagnan says that he needs to go have his shoes cleaned by Planchet, and if M. Bonacieux liked, he could send Planchet down to clean his shoes too. M. Bonacieux is kind of stunned, and ponders this oddly angry delivery of such polite words as d’Artagnan leaves to go inside his room.

     Planchet is in a state of great fright when d’Artagnan enters his apartment. Apparently, the head of the cardinal’s guards came to summon d’Artagnan when he was at M. de Treville’s! Clever Planchet realized that the guy was trying to arrest d’Artagnan, and immediately lied, saying that d’Artagnan was out of town and has left the day before. He explains that if d’Artagnan wants, he can just claim Planchet was lying and not get himself into trouble. D’Artagnan is glad at his servant’s quick thinking, and they decide to leave. D’Artagnan has Planchet get four horses ready, and instructs him to leave by a different route and meet him at a nearby hotel. Planchet sarcastically asks d’Artagnan if he thinks they will travel faster with four horses. D’Artagnan, irritated, explains that the others are for the Musketeers and their servants. D’Artagnan misses the three Musketeers, and Planchet misses the three servants. Aw, I hope they find everyone!

     The two meet up soon, and ride together. Dumas humorously comments that Planchet is more courageous by day than by night, but his sensibleness never deserts him. He remembers what happened last time they set off on a journey, and keeps those lessons close to his heart. In fact, he treats everyone they meet as an enemy, and does not pick fights. He also carries his hat in his hand just to be extra courteous, in order to avoid fights. D’Artagnan is embarrassed by his companion’s politeness, and tries to no avail to get him to stop. Presently, they reach the tavern/hotel in which Porthos was left behind. There, d’Artagnan gets into the owner’s good books by flattery and charm. It works, and they get to talking about traveling. D’Artagnan then casually brings up the subject of Porthos, and is surprised that the owner knows him by name, and what’s more, Porthos is still there! D’Artagnan is taken aback that his companion chose to stay in the hotel. The owner then tells d’Artagnan what happened to Porthos. Porthos lost the duel with the stranger shamefully, and got badly wounded. He lay in bed all day, occupying the hotel’s best room, and lived it up. Worse, he lost the sum of money d’Artagnan gave him by gambling, and cannot pay the hotel owner. He keeps writing to his mistress, hoping she will give him money. The hotel owner was so anxious for the overdue payment that he went to Porthos’s mistress just to see who she is. Bafflingly, she is an unattractive old lady. The owner also reports that Mousqueton is back, and takes all the good food in the hotel to give to Porthos. D’Artagnan explains that Mousqueton is very devoted and intelligent. The hotel owner laments that with any more intelligence and devotedness, he will be broke. Ha! D’Artagnan now pities Porthos for his stubbornness and recklessness, and is curious to see him. He enters Porthos’s chamber, only to see a luxurious room, furnished ornately, with Mousqueton busily cooking a delicious looking stew.

     D’Artagnan has to pretend that he does not know what happened to Porthos, so Porthos tells him a fabricated version in which he defeated his foe, but sprained his knee and is waiting for his mistress to bail him out. To spare his pride, d’Artagnan does not question the tale, and instead has a nice chat with Mousqueton. Mousqueton is amazing, and jumps way up my list of favorite characters because of this chapter. First, d’Artagnan cordially tells Mousqueton that he should give Planchet cooking lessons. Then Mousqueton launches into a story of how his father was a poacher in his spare time. D’Artagnan inquires what he did for a living, and Mousqueton explains that when his father was young, the Catholics and Huguenots were always fighting. So, when he saw a Huguenot, he pretended to be a Catholic and stole the Huguenot’s money. When he saw a Catholic, he pretended to be a Huguenot and stole the Catholic’s money. He met an unfortunate end when he encountered a Huguenot and a Catholic who banded together against him. True to his principles, he made Mousqueton’s older brother a Huguenot, and Mousqueton a Catholic. Good lord, this is hysterically funny. D’Artagnan then asks Mousqueton where he got his wine from.

     D’Artagnan asks if the hotel owner supplies the wine, and Mousqueton answers ‘yes and no.’ He explains that the owner supplies the wine, but he does not know that he supplies the wine. D’Artagnan, fascinated at this wise servant, interrupts and urges him to explain himself. Mousqueton, in a dignified manner, tells him to be patient (oh snap!), and then launches into a story about his servant friend that once worked for a Spaniard on a ship, who lassoed things. This is going to be good. Mousqueton’s servant friend taught him the art of lassoing, and he became an expert. So, when Porthos wanted drinks, Mousqueton made a lasso, and crept down to the locked cellar. He put the lasso through the ventilation hole, and lassoed bottles of wine. D’Artagnan, now a wiser man, watches Mousqueton and Porthos eat in stunned silence. Eventually, he decides that once Porthos gets money from his mistress, he will be fine, so he ought to move on and seek Athos and Aramis. D’Artagnan leaves a horse for Porthos, tells Planchet to learn to cook from Mousqueton one day, and sets off.

Reaction

     This was an immensely long chapter, but I have no regrets. Mousqueton is incredibly great, and I loved how impressed d’Artagnan is by him. That whole scene is hilarious. I now know about lassoing wine! Seriously, why isn’t this book more popular among youth these days? :)

     Favorite line: “Our host has a well-furnished cellar the key of which never leaves him; only this cellar has a ventilating hole. Now through this ventilating hole I throw my lasso, and as I now know in which part of the cellar is the best wine, that's my point for sport.” WINE-LASSOING!

Chapter 24: The Pavilion

Summary

     At nine o’clock, Planchet is ready and waiting as promised, and the two set of to the pavilion of St. Cloud. Planchet is uneasy about the excursion, and d’Artagnan teasingly asks him if he is afraid. They banter unpleasantly awhile, until Planchet almost manages to scare d’Artagnan too, and they pick up their pace. D’Artagnan then stops, and tells Planchet to wait there until six o’clock in the morning for him. Planchet is understandably taken aback, for it is freezing outside. D’Artagnan realizes how unreasonable his request is, and gives Planchet a small amount of money to hang out in a tavern for the night. Planchet, freezing, frantically dashes off to warm up inside. D’Artagnan presently reaches St. Cloud. He finds the gates to the pavilion, and stands outside to observe his surroundings. The pavilion is surrounded by pretty little rooms, which all have their curtains drawn – except for one room, which is softly lit. D’Artagnan smiles, imagining Madame Bonacieux inside. He waits for an hour, literally, but she doesn’t show up. Well, I must say he has dedication! Then he gets kind of desperate, and goes crazy and climbs a tree. That was apparently the right decision, because now he can see inside the room. Oh horror! It is totally ransacked, and there is clear evidence of a physical struggle. D’Artagnan panics and rushes off to the ferryman to ask him about who came to St. Cloud that day. The boatman describes a lady who sounds like it could be Madame Bonacieux. This frightens d’Artagnan even more, and he runs back to the pavilion, looking for answers. There he finds an old man in a cottage, who, after a bit of coaxing and bribery, describes what happened. Based on the old man’s description, we know that Madame Bonacieux was kidnapped by Rochefort and a few other men (including a man who sounds like M. Bonacieux, but d’Artagnan does not seem to realize that).

     D’Artagnan is grief-stricken, and goes to find Planchet. However, he cannot find him! D’Artagnan realizes that it is not even near six o’clock, so Planchet would not be expecting him yet. So, desolate, he goes into a tavern and drinks his troubles away. He also tries to listen to the people in the bar to see if he can find out more information, but he cannot. He eventually drifts off. In the morning, he comes to with a start. He checks all his belongings and person, and luckily he was not robbed during his nap. D’Artagnan steps out of the tavern, and he sees loyal Planchet waiting outside with two horses, outside a tavern that d’Artagnan overlooked during his search the night before. Oops!

Reaction

     This chapter was pretty anti-climatic in terms of action, but it was quite interesting. My favorite part of this chapter was the way Dumas describes St. Cloud. It sounds very pretty. All the soft light and clean pavilion with silvery trees all around…how nice! D’Artagnan is actually bearable because at least he seems to be concerned about Madame Bonacieux. I know I am! I can’t believe the men dragged her away by force like that, I can’t believe that her husband (most likely) is part of the kidnapping, but most of all I’m proud of her for putting up such an amazing fight against so many people that furniture was broken.

     My favorite line is Planchet totally shutting down d’Artagnan when he is teasing him: “Monsieur, we must not confound prudence with cowardice; prudence is a virtue.” And then d’Artagnan shuts up. 

Chapter 23: The Rendezvous

Summary

     After the ball, d’Artagnan is free to leave at three o’clock in the morning. He runs home in great excitement, and reaches his apartment complex safely and quickly. In a cheesy manner, Dumas attributes this to the power of love. When he reaches his floor, he performs a secret knock on his apartment door. It opens, and Planchet greets him. Planchet is back! Dumas acknowledges that the reader may be confused as to how he got back to Paris. Yes, indeed I am. Conveniently, Dumas does not know himself, and can only speculate that the Duke of Buckingham sent Planchet home along with the horses. That’s a hilariously lame reason, and it still doesn’t explain why d’Artagnan just left him in the middle of London. D’Artagnan now proceeds to clear up this mystery by making it very clear that he consistently doesn’t treat Planchet with much respect. He asks the aforementioned servant if anyone sent him a note. Planchet replies that no one sent a note, but a note came. Irritated by this enigmatic reply, d’Artagnan calls him a blockhead. Planchet takes this in good humor, and explains that when he arrived, the apartment was secured – door locked, all windows closed safely. Yet, there was a letter on the front table. Planchet is nervous about this, and comments that it is not natural for letters to enter like that.

     D’Artagnan reads the letter, and is delighted to see that it is from Madame Bonacieux, telling him to meet her by St. Cloud at ten o’clock that evening. He turns red and pale alternately – this appears to be Dumas’s highly unrealistic description of choice to show that someone has feelings of some kind. D’Artagnan, predictably, interprets this as a love letter, whereas she merely says she wants to thank him. However, d’Artagnan is actually more likely to be correct, since the way Dumas is writing this, it would be the next step to have them declare their love for each other.  Planchet observes d’Artagnan’s overreaction to the letter, and surmises that it must contain bad news. Ha! Planchet is so quality. D’Artagnan calls him an idiot, and tells him that the letter contains excellent news. Planchet is still suspicious, but doesn’t protest further. D’Artagnan instructs him to spend the day however he sees fit, but to be ready with two horses at seven o’clock in the evening, and to be armed. This makes Planchet even more nervous, but he agrees. Then, he asks permission to go back to bed, and d’Artagnan grants it.

     On the way out, d’Artagnan runs into M. Bonacieux, and the latter is so friendly that d’Artagnan feels obliged to stay and chat. M. Bonacieux tells d’Artagnan false stories about his ‘torturous’ imprisonment, unaware that d’Artagnan had heard him traitorously talking to Rochefort before the journey to London. M. Bonacieux keeps hinting that he knows where d’Artagnan has gone and what he has done. Strangely, M. Bonacieux even hints that d’Artagnan has a mistress. When d’Artagnan tells him that he is going to be out that night, and that he is happy with his mistress, M Bonacieux goes very pale. D’Artagnan does not notice, and leaves to go to M. de Treville’s. D’Artagnan catches M. de Treville up on what had been going on, and tells him about his gift from the queen. M. de Treville then warns d’Artagnan that he is being too complacent, and that the cardinal will not rest unless he has revenge on d’Artagnan. He tells d’Artagnan that it would be best to leave for Picardy and figure out what happened to the three Musketeers. D’Artagnan agrees and says he will set off the next day. M. de Treville suddenly begins acting super rude towards women, warning d’Artagnan that they are the cause of evil and will always be. D’Artagnan listens patiently to this blather, and then they part amiably.

     D’Artagnan visits Planchet, who is grooming the freshly arrived horses (given by the duke). He tells d’Artagnan that he noticed M. Bonacieux slipping off very purposefully after d’Artagnan left, and warns d’Artagnan to watch out for him. D’Artagnan, freshly cautioned by M. de Treville, seems to absorb what Planchet says. But then he emphatically tells Planchet that indeed, he will not pay rent until M. Bonacieux explains himself. Planchet probably mentally rolls his eyes at d’Artagnan’s inability to take his own security seriously. D’Artagnan tells Planchet to be ready at nine o’clock in the evening, and leaves again to go eat with the man who gave him a chocolate breakfast all those chapters ago when the Fearsome Four were short on money. I approve of his priorities – chocolate is very important in life.

Reaction

     This chapter was great, because it had so much Planchet in it. Planchet is the best, and the only character that has not annoyed me once in this entire novel. I also agree with M. de Treville and Planchet that d’Artagnan ought to be more careful. All that foreshadowing points to trouble ahead!

     This chapter was such a delicious goldmine of humor that it was hard picking a favorite line, but here it is:

D’Artagnan – “Don't be afraid, you idiot; there is nothing in [the letter] but a party of pleasure.”

Planchet – “Ah, like the charming journey the other day, when it rained bullets and produced a crop of steel traps!”

Planchet really is the best character in the novel so far. 

Chapter 22: The Ballet of La Merlaison

Summary

     The buzz in Paris for the next few days is the royal ball. Everyone is excited because the royal folk are going to dance the La Merlaison, a popular ballet. It is an extremely extravagant affair. Violins are hired to play the whole time, and little platforms are set up for all the important attendees. D’Artagnan’s chapter of guards also is invited to provide security. The king and queen are to change into their costumes in specially provided chambers once they reach the ballroom. As they arrive, the people of the court notice that the king and queen look preoccupied. The cardinal is anxiously waiting for a glimpse of the queen. Once he manages to see her, he practically begins evilly cackling. She’s not wearing the diamond studs! The cardinal kindly points this omission out to the king, who furiously asks the queen why she did not comply with his wishes. The queen calmly replies that she has left the studs at the Louvre, and will fetch them in time for the ballet. The king is livid, and the cardinal is triumphant. The cardinal tells the king that he doubts that she has the studs. Then, he gives the king the two studs that Milady sent him, telling the king to show them to the queen if she does have the remaining ten. Apparently, Milady managed to send the studs before the Duke of Buckingham’s embargo! The king is confused, but takes the proffered studs, and goes in a room to change.

     Presently, the performers emerge. The king looks regal in a hunting costume. The queen looks beautiful dressed as a huntress – and she is wearing all twelve diamond studs! The king is immensely pleased with her, and the two seem to have reconciled. The cardinal is horrified and dismayed. He explains away the two studs he gave the king, pretending they are a present for the queen. Queen Anne of course does not believe him, but acts gracious. The court applauds the ballet, and the whole party is lively and in good spirits. Soon, d’Artagnan finds Madame Bonacieux beckoning him. Highly excited, he follows her without a word. She leads him to an alcove outside the queen’s chamber. The queen lets d’Artagnan kiss her hand (which is an honor) and gives him an expensive ring as a way of thanking him. After that, Madame Bonacieux tells d’Artagnan that she will send him a note telling him where and when they can secretly meet. Then, she bids him to leave without a word. He obeys happily.

Reaction

     I’m very glad that the queen had such a spectacular triumph over the cardinal! He must be mighty puzzled about how the queen procured two extra studs. However, as we have seen, the cardinal is intelligent and powerful, so the worst is likely not over yet. Dumas has succeeded in making a sickly, elderly, religious man seem terrifying. This was a joyful chapter for d’Artagnan! He is rewarded for his troubles, honored by the queen, and Madame Bonacieux seems to love him back. I don’t understand why she reciprocates, but hopefully he will shape up. I miss the three Musketeers and the servants (especially Planchet, who may or may not still be wandering around in London).

     “… [The king] held out to the queen the two studs the cardinal had given him. ‘How, sire?’ cried the young queen, affecting surprise, ‘you are giving me, then, two more: I shall have fourteen.’ In fact the king counted them, and the twelve studs were all on her Majesty's shoulder. The king called the cardinal. ‘What does this mean, Monsieur Cardinal?’ asked the king in a severe tone.”

Love the turn-around. The king is so fickle.

Chapter 21: The Countess de Winter

Summary

     On the way to the duke’s hotel, d’Artagnan tells him about all his adventures during his journey to London. Dumas praises d’Artagnan overmuch in my opinion, but I’ll let it slide. When they reach the hotel, the duke leaps off his exhausted horse without caring what happens to it. D’Artagnan dismounts also, but looks back to make sure some hotel people take care of the horses. Oh, so now d’Artagnan cares about horses, but not the Fearsome Four’s servants? Regardless, the duke hurries d’Artagnan into the hotel, and taking a gold key off a gold necklace, opens a little secret alcove. Inside the room lies…a shrine to Queen Anne. Good grief. It has a gigantic portrait of her above a platform where the casket with the studs is placed. The duke kneels down, almost as if he is praying to the queen, and kisses each stud. To complete the religious comparison, he blatantly says that Queen Anne is his god. He explains to d’Artagnan that he wishes to be buried with the studs and is devastated to part with them. He really sounds self-righteous in his grief.

     As he thus worships each stud, he suddenly notices what we have known all along. Two studs are missing! After mentally retracing his actions, he realizes that the Countess de Winter (Milady) must have stolen them at the ball. He springs into action, summoning both his goldsmith/jeweler and secretary. Because he is ridiculously wealthy and powerful, he tells his secretary to put an embargo on all ships or vessels to France. He pretends that he plans to go to war with France. Drastic measures! He tells d’Artagnan that this way, if the two studs have not left England yet, they cannot leave now. He then literally locks the goldsmith in a room and makes him recreate the two studs. He pays him handsomely for the craftsmanship and trouble caused. After two days, the studs are complete, and cannot be told apart from the originals. D’Artagnan and the duke talk awhile about the next step. The duke insists on keeping the casket for his own pleasure. Yeesh. So d’Artagnan will return with only the studs; hopefully the missing casket will not be noticed! D’Artagnan admits to the duke that he does not like him very much. D’Artagnan respects him and will give up his life for him, but he does not like how careless the duke is with money, orders, and people. The duke takes this oddly harsh confession quite well, and the two part as friends. The duke has set up an elaborate system to get d’Artagnan home in which he travels to special taverns and says a secret password (it is “forward!”), which gets him any supply or help he needs, and a freshly rested horse. D’Artagnan travels on persistently and reaches Paris in twelve hours. There, exhausted, he runs to M. de Treville’s. That worthy gentlemen subtly directs him to the Louvre.

Reaction

    The duke’s reluctance to give up the studs and martyr-like air is surprising and idiotic. His words seem to imply that he considers himself wronged by the queen, since she gave him a gift and is now asking for it back. For crying out loud! If he loves the queen so much, he really ought to be more gracious about returning the studs. Granted, he cherishes them for their symbolism (he’s far too wealthy to care about their value). However, Queen Anne is in deep trouble and he can help her out, so his unwillingness to give her what she so desperately needs and his keeping the casket comes across as selfish. Remember, he has only met the queen four times! Also, she gave him the studs because she was afraid he would die soon, and he demanded some token before he would leave. That’s not very romantic at all. One last question: where is Planchet? The previous chapter mentioned that the “the poor lad's strength was almost exhausted” when they arrived in London, but surely he would have recovered in the two days it took for the studs to be made. Did d’Artagnan forget him in London?!? He’s probably wandering around, alone – he can’t even speak English, so he’ll be doubly lost!

     My favorite lines highlight why I like d’Artagnan better than the duke:

 “‘Now, my young friend,’ said [the duke], ‘England is all our own. What do you wish for? What do you desire?’

‘A bed, my Lord,’ replied d'Artagnan. ‘At present, I confess, that is the thing I stand most in need of.’

Buckingham gave d'Artagnan a chamber adjoining his own. He wished to have the young man at hand--not that he at all mistrusted him, but for the sake of having someone to whom he could constantly talk of the queen.”

 Good grief, how tiresome.

Chapter 20: The Journey

Summary

     This chapter is crazy. I mean, the plot actually moves way ahead. The Fearsome Four split up involuntarily. And people on the ‘good’ side are in deep danger. Like I said, crazy. So, the Fearsome Four set off on their journey in the morning. They gallop smartly along on majestic black horses, and their servants are all armed with countless weapons. After a while of this uneventful riding, they stop for a nice breakfast. The Fearsome Four dine happily, but I noticed that all the servants have the task of preparing the horses out in the stables. Don’t they get to eat? They need a union, gosh darn it! At the diner, Porthos foolishly gets into a quarrel with an obnoxious cardinalist. The fight is harder than he thinks, likely because the man is a spy, sent there to kill or delay them. The rest of the gang sadly has to leave Porthos behind because they cannot afford to wait for him. Confident he will win, they tell him to catch up soon and they set off again. Later, however, they get into trouble of their own. A bunch of silly men are digging holes in the street, and they dirty Aramis. Offended, he speaks sharply to them. Suddenly, the men pull out rifles, and begin shooting the gang! Not so silly men after all! Aramis is wounded in the shoulder, and Mousqueton is hurt in the leg. Afraid that he is dying, Mousqueton falls from his horse gracefully. Frantic, the rest of them speed off on their horses (Mousqueton’s horse decides to come along). I hope Mousqueton escapes the assassins safely! After galloping madly away, Aramis admits that he is in great pain. So, they leave him and Bazin in a nearby town so he can rest and get his wound treated. Now only half of the gang is left!

     At nightfall, they stop in Amiens. The hotel keeper wishes to put them in the best rooms the hotel has, but sadly these two rooms are on opposite ends. Luckily, d’Artagnan and Athos realize the inherent shadiness of this proposal, and get a mediocre room together. The poor servants again sleep outside. Grimaud stays with the horses in the stable. Planchet is amazing, and volunteers to sleep on a bale of straw right in front of their room, so no intruders can get past him. Aww. He says that he is a Picard, so he proves his worth slowly. Okay then. D’Artagnan agrees, and they settle down for the night. As predicted, an intruder attempts to enter. However, Planchet notices and confronts him, and the intruder is forced to leave. In the morning, though, they notice the damage that the cardinal’s men did overnight. Grimaud has been badly beaten up by a pitchfork, and the horses have been wounded. Poor, poor Grimaud! Athos and d’Artagnan decide to leave quickly. When Athos goes to pay the bill, misfortune strikes again. He is ambushed and kidnapped! D’Artagnan and Planchet just manage to escape on two random horses.  They talk about how depressing it is that they are alone now, and how they also may very well be attacked any moment.

     They soon reach a city, and notice a man asking a ship’s captain to take him to London immediately. The captain tells him to go to the governor to get permission, because the cardinal has ordered everyone to be on the lookout for a group of four young French men who want to go to London, and to stop them. Gasp! That’s our Fearsome Four all right. The man explains that he has a note from the cardinal allowing him passage. The captain holds firm and tells the man to get it cosigned by the governor. The man and his servant cheerfully set off to the governor’s house. D’Artagnan then proceeds to prove that he is actually intelligent. He follows the man, talks to him long enough to establish that he is an agent of the cardinal, and promptly attacks him. Planchet also attacks the man’s servant, named Lubin. Planchet quickly wins his duel and pins Lubin onto the ground. After a while D’Artagnan also comes out victorious, but his battle is a bit more vicious; d’Artagnan has been stabbed lightly on the chest, and the man is hurt badly. Lubin suddenly begins to yell, calling for help. Planchet uses d’Artagnan’s handkerchief to gag him, and explains that Lubin is a Norman, so he is stubborn. My goodness, these regional stereotypes are incredibly weird and hilarious. D’Artagnan then finds out the man’s name from his belongings (he is the Comte de Wardes), and sets off, impersonating him. He goes to the governor, and hands him Wardes’s note from the cardinal. The governor accepts it. Then d’Artagnan, clever bugger that he is, tells the governor to watch out for d’Artagnan, and then describes him as the Comte de Wardes, and adds that d’Artagnan has a servant named Lubin! Well played, good sir.

     Their luck turns from there. D’Artagnan and Planchet board the ship with no problem. D’Artagnan examines his wound on board, and when he said he was fine, it wasn’t just macho bluster – the wound isn’t bad at all! They reach London safe and sound, and speed off to Buckingham. Neither of them can speak English, but they find the duke’s servant, who can speak French. He fetches the duke, and they hand him the letter. The duke is desperately worried about the queen, and very grateful to d’Artagnan. D’Artagnan and the duke get horses, and set off back at a fast pace.

Reaction

     Again, I loved this chapter. It was gory, sad to see the Fearsome Four split up, had some servant maltreatment issues, and I miss Madame Bonacieux, but the plotline is just too well-written and excellent for me to mind. I am, however, rather worried about Porthos, Aramis, Athos, Mousqueton, Bazin, and Grimaud. Whew! A lot of people to worry for, but now I like all of them and I want them to stay together and not die. D’Artagnan has partially restored my faith in him by his smooth handling of the Comte de Wardes situation, and his success in delivering the letter. You go, man! And of course, Picard or not, Planchet gained my favor from the first chapter he arrived.

     My favorite line was from the antagonistic banter between the Comte de Wardes and d’Artagnan:

"You jest, I presume."

"I never jest."

"Let me pass!"

"You shall not pass." <--- Hey, Gandalf didn’t say it first!

Chapter 19: Plan of Campaign

Summary

     As he walks to M. de Treville’s place, D’Artagnan feels quite happy with the mission and excited by the prospects of money and Madame Bonacieux’s love. D’Artagnan quickly secures a meeting with M. de Treville, and decides to tell the worthy gentleman everything. However, M. de Treville is so devoted to the king and queen that he refuses to allow d’Artagnan to tell him about his mission, just to ensure that he doesn’t compromise the queen’s honor. He advises d’Artagnan that such a dangerous journey (the cardinal’s men will try to kill d’Artagnan!) is best not taken alone, and tells d’Artagnan to take the three Musketeers.  D’Artagnan happily agrees, and also agrees not to tell them anything either. M. de Treville tells d’Artagnan to hurry up and find them, and begins furiously writing out permission slips for the Fearsome Four. He tells d’Artagnan that the slips will be delivered to them soon.

     D’Artagnan visits Aramis first. Aramis is sad for some reason, and tries to attribute it to religious texts that fill him with grief. Of course. D’Artagnan, however, knows the real reason for Aramis’s melancholy – it is the Duchesse de Chevreuse. If you remember, she had lodged in Aramis’s house when she and the Duke of Buckingham were in Paris. Apparently, Aramis has a high class foreign lover! Ooh, scandalous. Aramis had made up that story about the doctor of theology’s daughter. Now everything makes sense! Except…why is Aramis sad? He thinks that the duchesse (and yes it is spelled that way) ran off because she despises him. D’Artagnan explains that she ran off because she was about to be arrested. Silly Aramis. D’Artagnan similarly gathers up Athos and Porthos, and all agree to serve on the mission, despite not knowing why they have to deliver a letter to London, and despite the mortal peril. They divide up d’Artagnan’s money and begin to plan the journey.

    Porthos comes up with a hilariously elaborate plan that includes splitting up, leaving by different routes at different times, and having Planchet pretend to be d’Artagnan. Athos, even more amusingly, snobbishly comments that Planchet is a servant and thus cannot have so much participation in an adventure. D’Artagnan says that Porthos’s plan is too intricate. So, Athos proposes that everyone sticks together (and they arm the servants). D’Artagnan agrees and all four get super pumped up, jumping and yelling.

Reaction

     I actually adored this chapter. I must have subconsciously missed the Musketeers! However, Athos insulted Planchet, so he gets one brownie point subtracted for that. I love that Aramis is having an affair with a royal lady. It’s just so unexpected and amusing! Porthos will be so jealous.

     My favorite line was by far from Porthos’s plan: “‘I will go by the way of Boulogne to clear the way; Athos will set out two hours after, by that of Amiens; Aramis will follow us by that of Noyon; as to d'Artagnan, he will go by what route he thinks is best, in Planchet's clothes, while Planchet will follow us like d'Artagnan, in the uniform of the Guards.’” Hey Porthos, I like the plan! 

Chapter 18: Lover and Husband

Summary

     Indeed, d’Artagnan had been listening the whole time, like a creeper! He comes down to her room, and promptly insults M. Bonacieux. Oddly, Madame Bonacieux does not seem perturbed by either the insults to her husband or the eavesdropping, and is happy to see him. D’Artagnan then volunteers to deliver the message in London, but it is clear that he is doing this for selfish reasons. In other words, he is serving the queen in hopes of gaining Madame Bonacieux’s love. She asks him how she can trust him. He tries offering his friendship with Athos, Porthos, and Aramis as proof, but once again Madame Bonacieux amusingly has never even heard of any of them. D’Artagnan finally offers his love as proof, which she is also slightly suspicious of, though she “involuntarily” returns his feelings to some extent. Because of the urgency of the mission, she agrees to trust him. She also gives him her husband’s money (given to him by the cardinal, as you might remember) for the journey. D’Artagnan is very grateful and professes his adoration again. Suddenly, his zillionth declaration of love is interrupted when they both hear M. Bonacieux talking to Rochefort outside.

     D’Artagnan sneaks them both upstairs into his room, and they eavesdrop on the downstairs conversation. D’Artagnan recognizes Rochefort as the letter thief, and only Madame Bonacieux‘s entreaties stop him from rushing down to fight him. M. Bonacieux has told an evilly delighted Rochefort everything he knows. He plans to find his wife, to pretend to accept the mission to London, and to give Rochefort the letter. Upstairs, Madame Bonacieux is outraged and keeps angrily muttering despite d’Artagnan’s efforts to shush her. Downstairs, her husband suddenly opens his cupboard and notices the missing money. And then the weirdest part so far begins. He literally howls with despair and exits the house, trying to find someone that cares about his loss. No one seems to care that someone stole his money, so he keeps howling and walking away. After M. Bonacieux and Rochefort leave, d’Artagnan departs to ask permission to take a vacation from guard duty so he can complete his mission.

Reaction

     D’Artagnan was a bit more bearable in this chapter, but that is only because Madame Bonacieux seems to return his feelings. I don’t really like them together very much, but I resign myself to the inevitable. D’Artagnan is still annoying though, and he begins to presumptuously address her by her first name, Constance. The howling at the end was exceedingly odd, and it was even odder that no one in the town seemed to give a hoot about M. Bonacieux’s sorrow. I’m not sure if Dumas intended it to be a comical scene, but I found it deeply hilarious. I also happened to notice that all that howling could have been prevented if Madame Bonacieux just gave d’Artagnan the ring instead of her husband’s money! Isn’t that what the queen gave it to her for? Then they wouldn’t have to steal anything.

    My favorite lines were Madame Bonacieux’s angry muttering when she was eavesdropping and hearing her husband’s treachery: “‘The traitor!’ murmured Mme. Bonacieux. ‘Silence!’ said d'Artagnan… ‘The ninny!’ murmured Mme. Bonacieux. ‘Silence!’ said d'Artagnan… ‘Infamous!’ said Mme. Bonacieux, addressing this epithet to her husband. ‘Silence!’ said d'Artagnan.”

In the novel there was more hand-holding between those two, but the dialogue was hilarious. I adore Madame Bonacieux. 

Chapter 17: Bonacieux at Home

Summary

     The title sounds like it could be made into a particularly old-fashioned and dramatic reality TV show, but the chapter is even better. So much suspense! So much at stake! Basically, the king may not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but he realizes that the cardinal is putting an inordinate amount of emphasis on the queen wearing the diamond studs. The king decides to find out whether there is a reason, by talking to the queen. Curiously enough, the king seems aware that the cardinal is trying to cause trouble, yet is still more loyal to the cardinal than to the queen.  So, he marches up to Queen Anne, and imperiously tells her to wear the studs. She seems frightened and pale, and though the king is oblivious to the reason, he sadistically enjoys her discomfort. During their little chat, the king lets slip that the cardinal insisted upon her ornamentation, and Queen Anne realizes that the cardinal’s spies know everything and want to get her into trouble. She is miserable and terrified by the time the king leaves. 

     She feels so hopeless and alone that she sinks to her knees and begins to weep desperately. Suddenly, the sweet voice of a lovely angel Madame Bonacieux pierces her sobs. She has heard the whole conversation and assures the queen that she will try her best to get the studs from the duke back in time for the ball. She plans to quickly dispatch a messenger to the duke, explaining the situation, and have him send back the studs. Queen Anne rapidly writes a letter to the duke, and hands it to Madame Bonacieux. The queen is extremely grateful, and gives her a ring to sell in order to pay for the journey to London. Luckily, the ring is hers to give away this time! Madame Bonacieux once again reassures the queen that she is not one of the spies, and would give up her life for Queen Anne. Then, she leaves at a brisk pace, intending to use her idiotic husband to deliver the message to the duke.

     Sadly, since they have not seen each other since her abduction, Madame Bonacieux doesn’t know about the horrible switch in loyalties that her husband has undergone. Totally loyal to the cardinal, M. Bonacieux is fully determined to spy on his wife and tell Rochefort everything. On her way home, Madame Bonacieux annoys me by thinking fondly and longingly of d’Artagnan. However, when the Bonacieux couple reunites, both the M. and Mme. seem genuinely happy to see each other. Madame Bonacieux tries to get her husband to agree to deliver the message, but he argues that he is the cardinal’s man now. She is outraged, and they fight bitterly about whether he should be loyal to the cardinal or to the queen. Though M. Bonacieux is tempted to let it go for his wife’s sake, he grows firm in his opinion when she loses her temper and calls him avaricious and cowardly. M. Bonacieux then decides to tell Rochefort that the queen desperately wants to send a message to London. Oh no! He makes an excuse, and hurries off. Madame Bonacieux reflects on how stupid and stubborn her husband is, and how upset she is at letting down the queen by not sending off the message yet. While she is lost in these dark thoughts, d’Artagnan cheerily (and incredibly creepily) knocks from above, and asks her to open the door so he may come down and be let inside. Good lord!

Reaction

     The impending romance between Madame Bonacieux and d’Artagnan is getting me a bit blue, but the chapter was exciting. I am genuinely afraid for the queen, and I really hope she does not get into trouble because of the diamond studs. Again, Madame Bonacieux was cool for appearing suddenly and agreeing to save the queen’s reputation. However, d’Artagnan was not cool for appearing suddenly above Madame Bonacieux. Was he listening the whole time? Does he always listen to the Bonacieux household?!?

     My favorite line was from the argument between M. and Madame Bonacieux:

M. Bonacieux - “For in truth, I think I have hitherto been deceived in you. I really believe you are a man, and a violent one, too."

Madame Bonacieux – “And you, you are a woman--a miserable woman, stupid and brutal.”

Well then. What a strange argument!

Chapter 16: In Which M. Seguier, Keeper of the Seals, Looks More Than Once for the Bell

Summary

     The king has a typical Dumas overreaction to the cardinal’s news that the Duke of Buckingham had been in Paris for the last few days; turning pale and red alternately. That can’t be healthy! The king is explosively irate because he knows that the duke loves the queen, and he suspects that Queen Anne returns those feelings. Though he considers the queen to be an enemy (!), he is still highly jealous of the duke. The cardinal feigns sympathy and trust in the queen, but plants the idea in the king’s head that the queen was writing letters to the duke all day. The king goes berserk and demands those papers she was writing on. He then unceremoniously bursts into the queen’s room, and tells her that the keeper of the seals is coming to talk to her. He ignores her queries and storms out.

     M. Seguier, as a young monk, used to feel lustful every so often, in the usual sense. As a church man, he tried to purge these feeling by praying, but he still had trouble, as did some of his colleagues. So, his fellow monks devised a way to help him. When anyone felt lustful, they would ring a bell, and everyone would pray for them. With this little introduction, we go back to the present. M. Seguier has been authorized to search anywhere for the letter. Queen Anne cooperatively gives him the keys to her cupboards and desk, and he rummages through both to no avail. Then, he wants to search the queen’s person. The queen is as indignant and horrified as one might imagine. She tells him that she put the letter down her dress. M. Seguier does not seem much daunted by this, and is willing to grope her to get the letter. He instinctively looks around for a bell, but there is none. The queen absolutely has dignity, and refuses to allow him to touch her. He insists that he must, and now he really wishes there was a bell. Almost fainting with fury, she hands him the letter and he leaves. What an unpleasant scene!

     The king reads the letter, and is happily surprised to see that it is addressed to the king of Spain, asking his help to remove the cardinal. Ha! He shows it to the cardinal, who pretends to still be sympathetic toward the queen. The king tells him that he is too indulgent. The cardinal then casually precipitates his plan to get the queen in trouble. After receiving word from Milady that she has fulfilled her mission, he advises the king to throw a ball to reconcile with the queen. The king agrees after some persuasion, and tells the queen the idea. After a few days of the king being kind to her, the queen forgives him completely and is excited for the ball. The wily cardinal, though, makes it a point to emphasize to the king that the queen ought to wear her diamond studs. Dumas mentions in this chapter that the queen has every reason to dislike the cardinal – he takes away people that care about her, or he turns them against her.

Reaction

     I totally called that Queen Anne would have to wear the diamond studs soon! In other news, the royal family is such a mess. The king is openly hostile towards the queen, the queen is emotionally cheating on him with the Duke of Buckingham, and the cardinal is trying to drive them even further apart though he pretends to wants them to get along. Queen Anne’s sad, persecuted, and isolated life makes my heart go out to her.

     This is a melancholy chapter so I can’t say these are my favorite lines, but they explain my sympathy for the queen: “[Queen Anne] had seen her most devoted servants fall around her, her most intimate confidants, her dearest favorites. Like those unfortunate persons endowed with a fatal gift, she brought misfortune upon everything she touched. Her friendship was a fatal sign which called down persecution. Mme. de Chevreuse and Mme. de Bernet were exiled, and Laporte did not conceal from his mistress that he expected to be arrested every instant.” How can you not hate the cardinal now? Well played, Dumas, well played. 

Chapter 15: Men of the Robe and Men of the Sword

Summary

     The plot suddenly jumps back to the dilemma of the Fearsome Four, and to M. de Treville’s admirable efforts to help them. As a reminder, Athos is in jail and d’Artagnan is in trouble for his role in the Mousetrap. Aramis is on leave somewhere for five days (that’s all we know!). M. de Treville, great father-figure that he is, immediately goes to the Lieutenant-Criminal (that really is what he’s called) to find out which jail Athos is in. The unfortunately titled man helpfully tells him Athos’s location. Athos had been questioned and ill-treated as M. Bonacieux had, but he bore it much better and had a solid alibi due to his meal with M. de Treville and M. de Tremoille. Sadly, Athos is still not released, though there is no reason to keep him in jail. 

     So, loyal and persistent M. de Treville secures a meeting with the king, in which the cardinal is also unfortunately present. Clearly, the cardinal has been manipulating the foolish king beforehand, so he is already biased. M. de Treville gives the facts, and tells them Athos’s (real) alibi and d’Artagnan’s (fake, though M. de Treville doesn’t know it!) alibi. The cardinal is very skeptical but does not dare accuse M. de Treville of lying. King Louis XIII tells them that his judges will decide Athos’s case. The cardinal agrees to let Athos be released until his trial. M. de Treville is glad, but suspicious at the cardinal’s generosity. The king eventually dismisses M. de Treville. Ominously, as soon as Treville leaves, the cardinal begins to talk to the king about the Duke of Buckingham.

Reaction

     That was an unnervingly unsubstantial chapter! Yet again, M. de Treville proves that he is a caring, protective father figure to the Fearsome Four, and literally bails Athos out of jail. Meanwhile, the king seems to have fallen more and more under the influence of the cardinal, which is worrying.

     My favorite line is from the irate king to M. de Treville: “‘Gascon-headed man, will you have done?’” Dumas’s constant Gascon references are amusing, even in context. 

Chapter 14: The Man of Meung

Summary

     Luckily for Bonacieux, the carriage stops by the execution spot just for a moment, and soon continues onwards. He is presently brought into the presence of a stern man, about 36 years old, with graying hair and a graying “pair of mustaches.” Goodness sakes, a pair? This man is dressed so that he resembles a soldier, and is haughty and proud. It is the cardinal! M. Bonacieux, the idiot that he is, gives the cardinal damaging information about his wife, such as the addresses of some of the houses she visits on secret missions. Mind you, at first M. Bonacieux thinks that she stops at linen drapers’ houses. After compromising his wife’s mission, Bonacieux pledges longstanding devotion to the cardinal. He is so obtuse that when the letter thief suddenly walks in, he cries out, exclaiming that he is the one that kidnapped his wife. Bonacieux then remembers the unfavorable reaction he received when stating so in jail and retracts his words, crying out that he was mistaken, and the man who walked in never kidnapped anyone. The cardinal rightly calls him a blithering idiot, and has him taken away.

     Then, the cardinal and the letter thief are free to talk in private. It turns out that the ‘letter thief’ is actually the Comte de Rochefort, and an excellent spy. Horrifyingly, Rochefort knows all about the Duke and Queen’s meeting, and even figured out what token she gave him. In the rosewood casket were twelve diamond studs given to her by the king. The Comte de Rochefort is soon dismissed to go to the two house addresses M. Bonacieux told them about. Rochefort soon returns, reporting that a man and a woman respectively were in the houses, but they left recently. The cardinal realizes that these two people were the Duke and the Duchesse de Chevreuse, and they had barely escaped being caught. M. Bonacieux is brought in one last time, and treated very kindly by the cardinal.  The cardinal even gives him money, and then lets him go home. The cardinal explains that now the dimwitted Bonacieux will spy on his wife for him. After Bonacieux is set free, the cardinal sends a message to…wait for it….Milady! Remember her from chapter 1? That pretty woman that the letter thief gave a message to right before he left, with d’Artagnan screaming for him to come back and fight? The cardinal’s letter instructs her to find the Duke at a ball, and to cut off two of the diamond studs that the cardinal predicts that the Duke will wear.

Reaction

     The cardinal is not what I expected him to be. He is younger, and more adroit at his spying and manipulations. M. Bonacieux is an idiot, of course, and I cannot believe he almost got the Duke and Duchesse de Chevreuse into trouble. Dumas has successfully gotten me completely on Madame Bonacieux, the Duke, and the Queen’s side, and against the cardinal’s people. I worry for the Queen’s reputation, because if Milady succeeds in her mission, then eventually, when the king or someone else requires her to wear the studs, she will be in trouble even if the Duke returns what is left of them.

     My favorite lines:

The cardinal – “Hold your tongue! You are stupid.”

Bonacieux – “That's exactly what my wife said, monseigneur.”

And he’s totally serious!

Chapter 13: Monsieur Bonacieux

Summary

     This chapter tells us about the fate and character of the aforementioned M. Bonacieux. When the unfortunate man is dragged to jail, the guards treat him roughly for about half-an-hour while they wait for someone to summon him. Poor guy. Then, a clerk takes him to the interrogation room, which sounds terrifying. Disappointingly, M. Bonacieux turns out to be a selfish dingbat. Dumas explains that his two main motives in life are avarice and self-preservation. He basically tells the cardinal’s men everything, including the Musketeers’ and d’Artagnan’s role in the whole business. He also reveals that Athos is just pretending to be d’Artagnan. Athos handles being exposed as an imposter quite well, and is amusingly polite and calm, but the guards still keep him locked up to prevent him from alerting his friends. I no longer pity M. Bonacieux. In fact, I deeply dislike him as the hysterical man avows that he has nothing to do with the plans his wife has made, and will renounce her if she has done anything wrong. Terrified that he will be executed, M. Bonacieux is completely willing to betray his wife in order to save his own skin. Hmm, what a contrast to some other characters we know! Because he is an indiscreet idiot, M. Bonacieux further divulges that he suspects that the letter thief has stolen his wife – and he describes him in detail. He has obviously made a wrong move, because he is put back into his cell immediately, and the interrogator looks pretty worried. M. Bonacieux is highly anxious, and weeps pitifully all day. I hope they don’t actually decapitate him!  

     At nine o’clock in the evening, his cell door is opened. M. Bonacieux leaps away like a frightened rabbit, certain that it is his executioner. When he sees that it is merely his interrogator and the clerk, he wants to embrace them with joy. His relief quickly morphs back into anxiety when they bid him follow them to a carriage, insert him inside, and lock the door. Then, the carriage slowly moves away. Now they’re just being cruel; the man is about to vomit with nervousness and they don’t tell him where they are taking him! Out of a narrow slit of a window, M. Bonacieux observes where they are. They keep approaching and then bypassing known spots for executions, and M. Bonacieux almost has a heart attack each time. Finally, they near the last execution site. And the carriage stops there. M. Bonacieux can hear voices outside. This is too much for the overtaxed man, and he faints.

Reaction

     M. Bonacieux is a greedy, selfish man, seemingly undeserving of his wife’s love. This would be a melancholy state in any case, but especially here. Regrettably, I cannot help but suspect that Dumas portrayed M. Bonacieux as such in order to make d’Artagnan seem deserving of Madame Bonacieux’s love in comparison. Sigh.

     My favorite line is from Athos, who sums up this chapter beautifully. “‘Bah!’ said Athos to the commissary, ‘if you have no more need of me, send me somewhere. Your Monsieur Bonacieux is very tiresome.’”

Chapter 12: George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham

Summary

     This chapter is brief again, since it just chronicles the meeting between the Duke and the Queen. Madame Bonacieux leads the Duke to a private antechamber in the Louvre, where he waits for Queen Anne. George Villiers, the Duke of Buckingham, is proclaimed to be the handsomest man in France and England. He lives a charmed existence, as he is powerful, rich, and admired. He also loves the beautiful Queen Anne passionately. Waiting for her arrival, he looks in the mirror nearby, and fixes the waves in his hair, squished from being under a hat. Excited to see the Queen, he smiles at his reflection. Queen Anne bursts into the room at this rather awkward moment, startling the poor Duke and making him cry out with surprise – and admiration. Queen Anne looks especially beautiful right now. She is wearing a plain white gown, and has her brown hair plainly curled. She is wearing maybe a bit too much blush, but she looks lovely and regal. The Duke is struck dumb and literally falls at her feet. It turns out that this is only the fourth time he has ever met her, and only once before did they have any special moments together.  He fell in love at first sight and calls her cruel to not reciprocate his feelings.

     He talks about how much he loves her for a while, and it is clear that he genuinely cares for her. However, Queen Anne is obviously in a difficult spot. She is the Queen and thus must protect her reputation – also, she does not deserve to feel guilty for not loving someone. However the Duke refuses to accept her rejection, and thanks her profusely for ‘admitting’ that she would love him if not for her rank. She tells him he has misinterpreted her words, but he ignores her and continues to express gratitude. He then guilt-trips her even more, mentioning that he has had premonitions that he will die soon. Queen Anne is frightened for him, especially since she has also had dreams of the sort – both of their visions proclaim he will die of a knife wound to his left. Thoroughly panicked, she makes him promise to return to England quickly and safely, and then come later when he is under protection. He agrees to leave only if she gives him a token to remember her by. She gives him a rosewood casket and bids him leave. He finally does so, after kissing her hand.

Reaction

     Well! While I don’t immediately like Queen Anne as much as Madame Bonacieux, I pity her for her treatment by her supposed lover. Ugh. Did all the men in France in the 17^th century behave like this? Guilt-trips and hysterics. Charming.

     My favorite line was this little exchange:

Duke - “Thousands of men, it is true, will have to pay for my happiness with their lives; but what is that to me, provided I see you again! All this is perhaps folly--perhaps insanity; but tell me what woman has a lover more truly in love; what queen a servant more ardent?”

Queen Anne - "My Lord, my Lord, you invoke in your defense things which accuse you more strongly. All these proofs of love which you would give me are almost crimes."

That part made me laugh. Queen Anne is completely right. He sounds like an amorous serial killer!

Chapter 11: In Which the Plot Thickens

Summary

     The chapter is titled quite aptly. Intrigue! D’Artagnan is wandering around the streets, madly in love with Madame Bonacieux. He seems to believe they love each other and is rather glad M. Bonacieux is out of the picture. Rather than dwell on this newly irritating d’Artagnan, the plot luckily moves ahead when d’Artagnan notices a disguised woman nearing Aramis’s house. He laughs to himself, instantly thinking of the doctor of theology’s daughter from two chapters ago. He crouches down to spy on the meeting, hoping to see Aramis with the woman. To his complete shock, a woman opens the door. Even more weirdly, the visiting lady hands her a handkerchief just like the one that caused his initial fight with Aramis, and one he had seen on Madame Bonacieux! The lady in disguise soon leaves, and d’Artagnan follows her, and eventually confronts her. It is Madame Bonacieux! He immediately confesses his love, and she kind of smiles and brushes it off. Poor, stupid d’Artagnan. Strangely, she claims not to know Aramis, and says she is on a secret mission. Wow, she is actually kind of awesome. 


     In an even more irritating manner, d’Artagnan calls her adorable. Adorable?!? This woman is hardcore! She is on a spy mission! Why is he being condescending? But d’Artagnan pays me no heed, and embarrasses himself by trying to force her to tell all her secrets. His ‘reasoning’ is that he loves her so much that there ought to be no secrets. Her logic is that she will tell him any secret she has, but these are other people’s secrets and she cannot divulge them. Of course, he just goes on about how she abuses his love. She agrees to let him accompany her to her next secret destination, but only if he promises to leave once she gets there, and not watch her or spy on her. He acquiesces reluctantly. After they reach, he obnoxiously asks her if she agrees to return his love. She replies that she cannot promise any such thing, and that while she is thankful to him for saving her life, she does not love him right now. All d’Artagnan hears is the ‘not now’ and is ecstatic, even more obnoxiously taking her words as a love promise. He finally leaves, and keeps his promise to not spy on her.

     When he gets back to his apartment, he is in for a nasty shock. A sorrowful Planchet is standing amidst a ransacked apartment. He explains all. Athos has been arrested! The guards thought he was d’Artagnan when he visited the apartment, and dragged him away. Athos did not correct them, in order to ensure that d’Artagnan’s mission would not be interrupted. Aw, that’s very noble of Athos. D’Artagnan instructs Planchet to stay at the apartment and make sure none of the other Musketeers arrives and gets in trouble. Planchet bravely replies in the affirmative, and says that he is willing to give up his life to protect the Fearsome Four.

     D’Artagnan runs off to inform M. de Treville of the goings on.  So, he tries to get to the Louvre. On his way, he spots Madame Bonacieux in disguise, walking arm-in-arm with a man! D’Artagnan thinks the man looks like Aramis, and gets very jealous and angry. He is furious at her, and thinks he has been betrayed and cheated on. Here, even Dumas admits that d’Artagnan is being ridiculous. He has known Madame Bonacieux for three hours, and is getting carried away. She does not owe him anything except maybe gratitude for saving her life. Anyway, he leaps confrontationally in front of the couple, and is about to duel the man, when he realizes that it is not Aramis, but the Duke of Buckingham! D’Artagnan begs his pardon, using the excuse of love, and tells the man that he is at his service. The Duke accepts the apology and d’Artagnan’s service. Soon, d’Artagnan finds Porthos and Aramis in the Pomme-de-Pinne (some sort of diner, I presume).

Reaction

     I really dislike d’Artagnan’s behavior in this chapter, for a few reasons.

1. It is silly that d’Artagnan really believes himself in love with Madame Bonacieux despite only knowing her for three hours and observing her clear rebuffs.
2. He keeps acting as if she owes him her love, which is  presumptuous and awful behavior.
3. He keeps compromising her awesome spy missions by acting incredibly ridiculous and making a public scene.
4. However, his dramatic rage and aggressive rush at the Duke seem like the old d’Artagnan, which was a bit of a relief though it is still terrible behavior.

     To my surprise, I also find myself liking Madame Bonacieux. She handles d’Artagnan’s appalling conduct very well; being kind yet firm. She also is a spy, which is just cool. In other news, I am so proud of Planchet in this chapter. Even irritating d’Artagnan admires his courage! 

Chapter 10: A Mousetrap in the Seventeenth Century

Summary

     Dumas starts the chapter off by explaining what a mousetrap is. In this context, it is a term used by the police about a strategy used to capture a group of people that visits a certain location. When one person is arrested from that location, the arrest is kept secret. Policemen hide inside the house, and leave the door ajar. When anyone enters the house, the door springs closed and they are arrested. The cardinal’s guards have made Bonacieux’s living quarters into one such mousetrap. D’Artagnan, who lives directly above, takes out a floorboard and listens to every interrogation. One day, he hears a woman being captured and arrested. His chivalrous nature kicks in immediately. He tells a worried Planchet to run and get the three Musketeers, and rushes into the mousetrap himself to save the woman. The woman is Madame Bonacieux! D’Artagnan chases the guards out of the house, and comes back to check on the poor woman, who has fainted. 

     He stares at her until she wakes up. She is a pretty lady with dark hair, but does not look as ‘refined’ as the upper-class ladies. She tells d’Artagnan that she escaped from her kidnappers, who were the cardinal’s people. D’Artagnan tells her about her husband’s arrest, and she seems quite concerned about and loving towards him. This doesn’t stop d’Artagnan from liking her. She’s married, man! He gives her Athos’s apartment to stay in (yes, it is empty for some reason) for the night and heads off, as per her instructions, to get the queen’s valet. The valet rushes off to get Madame Bonacieux to a safe location. Meanwhile, d’Artagnan gets himself an alibi. He visits M. de Treville, and sneakily changes the time of his clock so that M. de Treville believes that he talked to d’Artagnan during the time that d’Artagnan was actually storming the mousetrap and rescuing Madame Bonacieux. He chats with M. de Treville, and when the unsuspecting man leaves, he changes the time back to normal. D’Artagnan then runs into the street.

Reaction

     A lot of chapters seem to end with d’Artagnan running into the street! This chapter is even shorter than before, which I didn’t think was possible. D’Artagnan begins to have some character development here, but not necessarily in a good direction. First of all, he calls Planchet stupid for being concerned about him. No one insults Planchet on my watch! Second, he falls in love with a married woman who loves her husband within the course of half an hour. Enough said there. Thirdly, he conceals information from and tricks M. de Treville. That was surprising to me, considering the respect he showed him in previous chapters and all M. de Treville has done for the Fearsome Four. M. de Treville may not have trusted d’Artagnan initially, but he ended up saving the Fearsome Four from the king’s disfavor and this chapter mentions that the four friends drop by to talk to M. de Treville often. Overall, D’Artagnan is getting more confident and less endearing. 

Chapter 9: D’Artagnan Shows Himself

Summary

     D’Artagnan enters the room, looking angry, about half an hour later. He tells the assembled Musketeers that the fancy-pants letter thief slipped away again like a ghost! Amusingly, Athos promptly asks Porthos if he believes in ghosts. Porthos does not, but Aramis chides him for saying so, reminding him a ghost is mentioned in the Bible. The three argue irrelevantly about this matter until d’Artagnan brings the topic back to the thief. Since it is determined that d’Artagnan has once again lost the thief, he begins to tell his friends about his conversation with Bonacieux. He also sends Planchet downstairs to get some fancy wine for the Fearsome Four, airily telling the others that Bonacieux will do them many favors now. He instructs Planchet to only accept the best wine. While the wine is on its way, d’Artagnan tells the Musketeers about his deal with Bonacieux. They then gossip about the Queen’s supposed love for the Duke of Buckingham, and all agree that he is a noble gentleman. Porthos adds that he has an excellent and expensive sense of fashion.

     Aramis then relates an adventure he had when he was mistaken for the duke, and the lady with him was mistaken for the Queen. He tries to make it very clear that he was at her father’s house to study theology, but it is obvious he is fudging the truth a bit, especially when he has to admit he was in disguise when he left the house. The other three burst out laughing when they realize that Aramis is badly concealing a love affair with a woman. Porthos, especially, keeps making fun of his feeble excuses. This nice chat is rudely interrupted when the poor landlord comes flying into their room without even knocking, screaming wildly that he is going to be arrested. Four of the cardinal’s guards follow him, probably wondering if they really have to fight the Musketeers again. Interestingly, d’Artagnan takes charge and allows the man to be taken away, pretending he supports the cardinal in front of the guards. 

     After the guards drag poor Bonacieux off, Porthos grumbles loudly at d’Artagnan. But Athos and Aramis tell him to go along with the charade. D’Artagnan thinks that he and his friends must be free of suspicion for them to rescue Bonacieux and his wife. If they fought the guards, they would likely be in trouble again with the king. Well, that actually makes sense. This king did tell them not to have any more fights in the near future! The chapter closes with the Fearsome Four agreeing to save the landlord’s wife. And the three Musketeers agree that d’Artagnan is to be the leader since he is clever and talented. Or as Athos puts it, he has a “long head.” In fact, they all swear allegiance to him, and he tells them to adjourn for the day, and remember that they are now enemies of the cardinal officially. D’Artagnan acts like he was born to lead.

Reaction

     Short chapter! Well, it jogs along the plot and surprisingly establishes d’Artagnan – d’Artagnan! – as the leader of the Fearsome Four. For goodness sake, this guy has no impulse control! But then again, in this chapter he seems extremely prudent. And he is good at giving orders and making decisions, so hopefully he will keep his temper in check and all will be well. This chapter also gives the Fearsome Four a signature jingle: ‘All for one, and one for all!’

     My favorite line is from Porthos, about the Duke of Buckingham: “‘…he dresses as nobody else can,’ said Porthos. ‘I was at the Louvre on the day when he scattered his pearls; and, pardieu, I picked up two that I sold for ten pistoles each.’” Pardieu indeed, Porthos! With all the pearls and hobos you pick up, the Fearsome Four will end up super rich and lazy!

Chapter 8: Concerning a Court Intrigue

Summary

     Unfortunately for the Fearsome Four, the money given to them by the king soon finishes its life cycle, and they find themselves short of money. Their salary is not enough to sustain them, and they do not get paid for a while. In fact, D’Artagnan has not even gotten paid once for guard duty. So, they take turns paying for the whole group – or least the three Musketeers do, because d’Artagnan has already taken his turn by sharing the king’s gold. First, Athos supports the entire group. When his money runs out, Porthos disappears for a few days and comes back with money (he does this occasionally), which supports the group for a good fortnight. Aramis sells some theological books and manages to support the group briefly, but then the Musketeers are seriously in monetary trouble. They have a little meeting and manage to scrape together a little money. Porthos then takes this money and goes to an evening of gambling, hoping to get a lot out of it. Sadly, he not only fails to get any more, but finds himself in debt after the game. Now, the Fearsome Four is in dire straits indeed. So, they turn to getting free meals from their friends. They justify this by explaining that they often host meals and parties for their friends when they have money, so they are merely relying on mutual friendship. Indeed, the Musketeers are being epic moochers. When one of them is invited to a meal, he takes along seven uninvited guests: the three others and their four servants! They must have good friends indeed. Amusingly, d’Artagnan is mortified that he is worse at mooching that the others, because he is new to the town and does not have as many friends. However, Dumas mentions that he does manage to secure a free “chocolate breakfast,” which sounds amazing.

     D’Artagnan finds himself presented with an opportunity for money when a mysterious man tells him that his wife has been kidnapped, and he is willing to pay the Fearsome Four for their help and support. His wife is a confidant of the Queen, and so the man suspects she has been kidnapped for political reasons. Apparently, his wife told him that the Queen believes that someone has falsely written a letter to the Duke of Buckingham using her name in order to lure him into a trap. Also, the man that the stranger describes as likely having kidnapped his wife sounds exactly like the fancy-pants letter thief! The man casually reveals that his name is Bonacieux along the way, which makes d’Artagnan jump a little. He asks Bonacieux if he knows him somehow. Bonacieux reacts with a bit of surprise, telling d’Artagnan reproachfully that he is his landlord, and did d’Artagnan notice that Bonacieux hasn’t pressured him for rent even though it is overdue? D’Artagnan is grateful for this, and seems to want to help the man, especially when he says that if d’Artagnan helps, he will not have to ever pay rent. What a good deal! Suddenly, both men notice someone walking down the street outside – the fancy-pants letter thief! D’Artagnan sprints down the stairs and Bonacieux leaves. On the way down, d’Artagnan bumps into the three Musketeers – déjà vu! – but this time only tells them that he saw the aforementioned thief, and the Musketeers let him pass and decide to wait for him upstairs.

Reaction

     I had wondered what happened to the fancy-pants letter thief! I love the intrigue in this chapter. Dumas, as predicted, is moving the plot ahead by way of transition. I am fairly surprised that the Fearsome Four runs out of money so quickly – why don’t the Musketeers get paid more? Well, it is true that other than occasional illegal fights, they have yet to do much, so perhaps a low salary is justified. This was a short chapter, hopefully designed to ease from character-explaining to plot development in the next few ones. D’Artagnan not recognizing his landlord was pretty funny, and the conversation was also interesting. I’m curious about how Bonacieux knows the letter thief. I like how the end of this chapter mirrors the end of chapter 3 – both with d’Artagnan rushing after the thief and crashing into the Musketeers – but in this one the Fearsome Four is established and d’Artagnan has a mission.

     My favorite lines are about Planchet. I have a feeling I am going to like this guy: “D'Artagnan awakened Planchet and ordered him to open [the door]. From this phrase, ‘d'Artagnan awakened Planchet,’ the reader must not suppose it was night, or that day was hardly come. No, it had just struck four. Planchet, two hours before, had asked his master for some dinner, and he had answered him with the proverb, ‘He who sleeps, dines." And Planchet dined by sleeping.’”